I have a friend that has become a polygamist, by default. Let me explain.
For confidentiality purposes, I have changed the names of the individuals in this post.
Linda was with Manny for 12 years; they grew up together. They met in high school and were inseparable. Manny took care of Linda and provided for her. Linda also carried her own weight and held Manny down. I am a witness, they loved each other very much. They had a child after being together 5 years and things continued to go well, minor bickering here and there but nothing to be concerned about.
About two years ago, they hit a rough patch in their relationship and argued on an almost daily basis. (*You know how dudes do, when they arguing with their chick or simply don’t wanna hear her mouth; they begin to go outside more. No more hours of playing X Box, smokin on the sofa or drinkin in the living room.)
Manny began to spend nights out and Linda knew what was happening but she was in denial, at first. Manny then moved out and Linda lost it. She was depressed but she was still able to function (work, take care of her child and take care of her household.) They maintained a co-parent relationship and ultimately began having sex again. This, to Linda meant, they were back in a monogamous relationship.
After not living together for a year, they agreed that they were going to work on their relationship and be together. At this time, Manny came clean and told Linda that he was hanging with a “friend” named Mary and began a relationship with her during the time they were apart. Manny then brought up the idea that Linda and Mary should meet and they should have a threesome. Linda was reluctant at first but ultimately agreed to do it. At first, Linda was having a blast; going on short stays for “sessions,” getting intoxicated and just feeling young, wild and free again.
During one session, Manny and Mary were knocked out and Linda decided to go through their phones. She noticed that they were texting and talking during the time in between sessions. They were using pet names to address each other and saying “I love you.” Linda became furious and flipped on them both. But if you don’t know by now, Linda’s a sucker for Manny and it wasn’t long before sessions were back on.
One day, Linda came up with the idea that the three of them (along with their child) should live together. Her view was, they were spending all this money on hotel stays, drugs and liquor; they could be using that to split for the bills in an apartment. All three parties agreed and they started making plans to move in together.
Mary and Manny were already living together in an apartment (unbeknownst to Linda.) So that is where they decided to move Linda and the child into.
At first, it was not that bad for Linda. Then she started noticing that Mary was doing things for Manny that Linda had been doing for the last decade i.e. laying out his clothes for work, running his errands and knowing exactly how he liked things. Then Linda noticed that when friends of Manny or Mary would come over, there were no introductions with the exception of her, these people had known Manny and Mary as a couple for some time now. When Mary had company over, Linda and the child was asked to leave until the company was gone. All of these were red flags and Linda knew it but again, as long as she was with Manny, it didn’t matter.
After a few weeks, Linda’s regret started to set in. She was miserable. Linda was jealous of Mary and vice versa. The women would have deep conversations with each other and when they were mad at each other, they would run and tell Manny all the other woman said. Manny would talk to each of them individually and when the women were upset, they would throw all of it into the other woman’s face. Manny is sick of the bickering and the headaches. It has become a sad, pathetic game where nobody is winning but no one wants to lose. They no longer have good times, the women participate in the sexual acts because they are so desperate to keep Manny happy, they are willing to be unhappy themselves.
I should also mention that Manny is abusive but neither Mary nor Linda seem to be too scared to leave him. When one is getting hit, the other attempts to “save” the victim and sometimes, they both get it.
As Manny and Linda’s child gets older, there are more questions being asked; more comments being discarded. It is only a matter of time before the child figures out what is going on. Children are smarter than we give them credit for.
My heart goes out to Linda but she is grown and can make her own decisions. They all continue to live under the same roof and I am sure I’ll be writing about them again.