I have a very small circle of friends. Some of my friends are in relationships that they are unhappy in. The thing that gets me is, if you’re unhappy with something in your life, change it. Stop complaining about your partner and the way they treat you and what they put you through and how they make you feel. As far as I’m concerned, a person can only put you through what you allow them to put you through. If you continue to be abused (mentally, emotionally, physically or financially) it’s only because you are allowing these things to happen to you. You stay in the relationship, hoping things are going to get better and things hardly change.
What kills me about these individuals is the complaining they do. I don’t wanna hear it. Your relationship starts to lose validity in my eyes. You’re arguing today and in love tomorrow but since you’ve told everybody about every spat, everyone knows your happiness is temporary. Pe0ple who really know whats going on, know what it is. What people in these toxic relationships may not realize is, they are doing this to themselves. Why continue to allow yourself to be mistreated? You’re basically giving your partner (or whoever it is mistreating you) the impression that it’s okay to do so. Why continue to stay in a situation where you are unhappy? That’s not living, that’s surviving.
I think people who stay in situations that are detrimental, are putting themselves through pain by staying in that relationship. I went through this myself. I was always trying to fix someone, when I finally realized, I could only fix myself. I still have room for improvement but I’m far from the sad young woman I used to be. I’m no longer afraid to cut people out of my life; if I can recognize that my best interest is not what they have in mind, they’re dismissed. You have two options: You can love me or Leave me alone.
But my job as their friend is not to express my opinion (even though I do sometimes.) My duty is to support them in whatever desicions they make, whether I agree with them or not. And if they fall, be there to pick them up. That’s my definition of a true friend.