From Now On,

Call me Goddess. 

Thank you

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To Whoever Reads This,

Know, that I love you ❤️.

Be A Part Of Your Own Rescue

I have a very small circle of friends. Some of my friends are in relationships that they are unhappy in. The thing that gets me is, if you’re unhappy with something in your life, change it. Stop complaining about your partner and the way they treat you and what they put you through and how they make you feel. As far as I’m concerned, a person can only put you through what you allow them to put you through. If you continue to be abused (mentally, emotionally, physically or financially) it’s only because you are allowing these things to happen to you. You stay in the relationship, hoping things are going to get better and things hardly change.

What kills me about these individuals is the complaining they do. I don’t wanna hear it. Your relationship starts to lose validity in my eyes. You’re arguing today and in love tomorrow but since you’ve told everybody about every spat, everyone knows your happiness is temporary. Pe0ple who really know whats going on, know what it is. What people in these toxic relationships may not realize is, they are doing this to themselves. Why continue to allow yourself to be mistreated? You’re basically giving your partner (or whoever it is mistreating you) the impression that it’s okay to do so. Why continue to stay in a situation where you are unhappy? That’s not living, that’s surviving.

I think people who stay in situations that are detrimental, are putting themselves through pain by staying in that relationship. I went through this myself. I was always trying to fix someone, when I finally realized, I could only fix myself. I still have room for improvement but I’m far from the sad young woman I used to be. I’m no longer afraid to cut people out of my life; if I can recognize that my best interest is not what they have in mind, they’re dismissed. You have two options: You can love me or Leave me alone.

But my job as their friend is not to express my opinion (even though I do sometimes.) My duty is to support them in whatever desicions they make, whether I agree with them or not. And if they fall, be there to pick them up. That’s my definition of a true friend.

Our Girls

I never realized how important it is to instill values into children as early as possible. Growing up, I did well in school and it was often celebrated when I received my report cards and awards at ceremonies; this gave me pride in my education. My opinion was never asked for or listened to, in my household children were seen and not heard; this made me feel like nothing I said or thought mattered to anyone else and caused me to be introverted.  I was never told I was beautiful, so I always felt unworthy of trying to exude beauty; I was a tomboy until I was about 16 years old and wore large clothing to hide my body. When I did start to wear feminine clothing, I received lots of attention. It was nice to finally be acknowledged for something at face value. (I couldn’t wear my academic achievements, so it made me feel good to be recognized as “pretty” for a first impression.) But I didn’t realize that, for some people, the way they look is all that matters and being attractive trumps all. I’ve realized that in the years that I grew up and now, are very different times. I see females showing more of their body, acting provocatively and being careless with their most prized possessions. This makes me question whether they know their worth.

Actually, the answer to that question is quite clear, they have no idea what they are worth because they haven’t been shown to value themselves. In my opinion, it’s important for girls to know that they are intelligent, capable and worthwhile. They also need to be taught that it is important to be conscious of the way they present themselves. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be allowed to wear what they want without being judged, I’m saying they should be taught to identify the difference between someone who wants their body and someone who appreciates their intelligence, personality, opinions and values.

As the adults in their lives, it’s up to us to help our girls understand this. I talk to young girls as much as I can, stressing the importance of education and professional drive. As well as the importance of keeping themselves safe, when it comes to sex. I sometimes feel like it’s not my place to talk to them about such things but if they’ve never heard anything like that before, maybe I can help one of them realize that they are priceless and their worth is unmeasured.