Personal

Human Nature

Posted on by Anita

I believe, it’s unnatural to be monogamous. Think about it, the energy you feel when you are attracted to someone is almost like an animal attraction. There doesn’t have to be any words exchanged, that energy alone is enough to know that person is into you. And this can happen anytime, anywhere with anyone. It’s unpredictable.

When the strength of that energy starts to diminish with one person, we begin to become interested in other things. Newer, interesting, more attractive things (and when I say things, I mean people lol) and we begin the cycle with someone new. The possibility of this happening is also unpredictable.

When two people share that initial energy (the animal attraction,) and one of those people begins to have that attraction with someone besides their partner, their partner starts to feel the shift in energy and starts to question what is going on. Think about it, when you are in a relationship and you are being cheated on, you almost know it. It’s hard to explain but there is a feeling you get (instinct, if you will) that tells you to question the relationship. Which leads to you looking trough your partners phone, popping up at their job, placing GPS devices in their car and/or phone, etc.

Another reason I don’t think monogamy is natural is because (in my experiences) even when a person proven to be cheating on their partner, the person who is cheated on is willing to forgive the cheater and continue with the relationship. What is the point of setting an expectation for relationships, that everyone is supposed to abide by, but when a person does not meet that expectation, they are still given the privileges of someone that does. It’s like stating a rule and telling people not to break it but when people do break it, there’s not many consequences for it. And I am not here to victim shame, the cheater dosen’t stay guilty for long either! What’s the saying? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Like it’s thier way of being and you either accept it or don’t.

I know a lot of people in relationships, I don’t know many of them to be faithful. And for those who seem to be faithful, I would like to believe they are.If cheating is so wrong, why are people willing to forgive it so easily?

So when I say it’s human nature to be attracted to people other than our partners, I’m talking about the energy and instincts we experience so naturally through this process. Just on some Brilliant Idiot 💩 ✌🏽️

You Are Not Alone (Micheal Jackson voice)

Posted on by Anita

I have this defense mechanism that I’ve used for as long as I can remember. I will have the desire to become close to someone, develop a relationship of some sort. Then my trust issues sink in and I start to doubt their sincerity. I know all is genuine on my end but the doubt I feel from their end is what makes me call it quits.

Sometimes I think I don’t need anymore people in my life. And sometimes I feel like I’m cheating myself out of an experience of meeting new people and experiencing new things. But I look at it as; I’d rather protect myself from the start, than feel like a sucker down the line.

You Can’t Help Who U Love

Posted on by Anita

I had lunch with a friend today and she brought up Gay Marriage being legalized in the U.S. She talked about being against the decision (which I took as misunderstanding on her part,) and she stated that this was a sign the world was going to end. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure just how serious she was… but to say things like that, kidding or not; IS NOT COOL. You can not relate to something, you know nothing about. You can’t offer your input on anything without experiencing it yourself. If you are heterosexual, does that mean you should be treated differently than homosexuals, bisexuals or transgender individuals?!?!? If you answered yes to this question, you’re wrong. That a form of segregation, which we did away with long ago! We are all human and should all be treated equally. If you have any questions or concerns about the LGBTQ community, I suggest you become educated because there can be no progress with ignorance. We all deserve the right to be miserable in holy matrimony. And if you don’t like it, Oh Well!

You Ain’t No Fortune Teller

Aside posted on by Anita

It is amazing how you can imagine your future and that image can disintegrate over time. When you’re high off happiness, it seems like nothing can go wrong and your plans are going to work out fine. But when you come down from that high and you realize things can and will go wrong, your future starts to look very unclear.

My Natural Hair Journey

Posted on by Anita

As you guys know from my previous post, “I love my hair, IDC IDC,” I have stopped relaxing my hair. I am finally beginning to learn how to treat and style my transitioning hair. (YouTube has been a huge help!) Yesterday, I decided to take a shot at Bantu Knots because my hair seemed untamable and here are my results this am. I must say, I’m happy and am excited to learn new ways to treat and style my natural hair.

image

Damn Shame

Posted on by Anita

When it comes to a romantic relationship, I’ve learned; everything my significant other was willing to do to have me, usually isn’t what they are willing to continue doing to keep me.

It Will Be My Downfall

Aside posted on by Anita

Pride. It’s that knot in my stomach when I’m frustrated and exhausted but refuse to ask for help. I feel a lump in my throat and my head feels like it’s on the verge of exploding. I try to do everything on my own, I’ve never really had any other option, until now. I’ve learned that being prideful might be the worst thing I could be. It destroys me.

I’ve decided to put my pride aside and be vulnerable, be human. Ask for help when I need it, help those in need and thank people when they deserve it. Being vulnerable and trustworthy may be the cure to my prideful ways. Vulnerability and trust are hard for me to offer wholeheartedly, it makes me feel weak but it’s worth giving a shot. That way, if I fall, I’ll have people here to help pick me up.

Daddy’s Little Girl

Posted on by Anita

My dad, Abraham Garcia, was a great dad. I remember, as a child, he would always tuck me in and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep every night. If I fell asleep before he came home, he would make sure to kiss my forehead as I slept and whisper he loved me in my ear. My dad was the only person, while I was growing up, to tell me he loved me. And I always knew he meant it by the way he treated me. He protected me, he defended me, he listened to me and he was honest with me.

Saying that, my father was a drug addict my entire life. He was a functioning addict (which I respect.) He was a computer programmer for a huge television network. He made a good living and appeared to be happy. I found out, when I was 12 years old, that my dad was an addict but it didn’t matter to me. How he treated me, was all that mattered. As I got older I became more aware of his addiction and became resentful towards him for not staying sober. He went in and out of rehab clinics and drug programs but he always went back to his old ways. He would always say the same thing, “I was stressed out and I got high.” I thought, ” your kids aren’t a good enough of a reason to stay sober?” I would get so upset with him when he would relapse but I would never abandon him or deny him of anything. When I was angry at him, I would cut off all communication to him; wouldn’t answer his calls, texts, etc. But when we were on good terms, we would meet up, talk about life, be each other’s therapist and adviser. Sometimes I feel like I enabled him, to a point. I tried to be there for him, give him everything he needed so he could get better. But my attempts failed.

My dad passed away two years ago today and I miss him everyday. I feel bad about the times we were not on speaking terms. I think about the time I wasted being upset with him. I also know that the drugs almost definitely eliminated years off his life smh. He was a great dad despite the circumstances. He was The BEST Dad ever. May he Sleep In Peace.

Instadamn

Posted on by Anita

I go outside and I see people all around me, distracted on their phones, tablets and laptops. I go to work, people are checking timelines. I go to the gym, people are taking selfies. I go a restaurant and people are taking pictures of their meals and drinks. I believe that social networks are the only thing considered “social” anymore. Think about it, what period of time is the longest you’ve gone without checking your social networks? I know people that are constantly on their phones, scrolling, liking and commenting (with lots of emoji’s 😩.)  Instead of focusing on whats happening around us in real time, people are too busy checking how many likes they got or who wants to follow them.

Social networks are anything but social. They seclude us. They make us hide behind posts that are usually to attract attention, whether whats in the post is reality or fiction. Posts are misconstrued, subliminal messages are left open for misinterpretation and pictures are misleading.

I have no social network account and consider myself a bit behind on whats going on with my family and friends however, I have much more personal ways of getting in contact with them and catching up with whats going on in their lives; phone calls, texts, family gatherings, in my opinion, these are all better than looking at a timeline on a screen and commenting for the world to see. My relationships don’t need to be validated by titles and links on FB. I don’t have to prove I’m happy with my man by posting pics for people to see. And I don’t need to prove my life is fulfilling, I just need to live it.