Call me Goddess.
Know, that I love you ❤️.
As you may know from my previous post, “You May Want A Little Background Info…” I was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. Unless you’ve grown up here, it’s hard to describe the experience. Concrete jungle is fitting. Never the less, I grew up thinking that nobody made it out of the Bronx to be something great. I have always known I was different. I’ve always felt destined for greatness but I always had some doubt lingering.
Lately, I’ve been inspired by Cardi B, Desus & Mero and A$AP Twelvyy. They are all individuals from the Bronx who are living amazing lives. They all made it out of the hood and gave me a new found hope. I can be great too. I saw an interview with Cardi B and she stated, “I don’t know why God is so good to me. I’m not the nicest person.” I feel exactly the same way. I have done a lot of messed up things to people in the past and don’t understand how I am so blessed today. But I do know, I have done my best to make up for all the messed up things I have done. I’ve tried to maintain positive energy and a positive outlook on life and my future. When you are in the hood and surrounded by the hopelessness that lingers here, it’s challenging to keep your head up and your eyes open. When you’re surrounded by poverty and all that comes with it, it’s hard not to fall into that deep, dark hole.
What I can say is, I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, reading self-help books, meditating, yoga and trying to stay in a positive space. In doing so, I’ve found that you are only a product of your circumstance, if you allow yourself to be. Never give up hope. Anything is possible. I’m not the most articulate but I know I’m smart. I’ve learned a lot from books but the streets taught me survival. I sure as hell ain’t soft but I can spread love ❤️. And for anyone else, feeling the way I felt, just know; The World is Yours. And don’t listen to anyone telling you something different.
I came across these two pieces of art randomly within the last two weeks. I first encountered the drawing of the man, outside of a train station exit. I thought he was beautiful (imperfections & all,) and snapped a picture. A few days later, I came across a piece by Don Van Vliet (the artist formerly known as Captain Beefheart.)
They connected in my mind. A man and a woman, smeared in each other’s direction. They just seemed like they were made for each other 🙌🏽. That is all.
I looked out of the window, onto a construction site and saw a man praying. I was so surprised, intrigued, proud and compelled. My first thought was, “why is this man kneeling on the dirty ground?” I then realized his shoes were off and he was praying. I became overwhelmed with emotion, noting that it was amazing to see the faith of a human being demonstrated in such a dedicated way. Amongst all the debris, he simply chose a spot to pray, and did so in the most eloquent way. It was beautiful. FAITH is beautiful, no matter the one you choose.
As you know, I was born and raised in New York City. I’ve lived here my whole life and I sometimes question; why is NYC the place to be? People come from around the world to live here. People hope for the opportunity to one day arrive here. I don’t mean to be obnoxious but my city seems pretty regular to me. Yes, NY is full of exciting things like fashion, money, power, culture; but I’m pretty sure any major city has these same elements. Maybe it’s mediocre to me because I’ve don’t know anything else. Maybe I’m oblivious to all the great opportunities that are at my fingertips, that I choose not to take advantage of. Maybe I feel a sense of entitlement to have these opportunities because this is my home.
I say all this to say, you don’t know what you’ve got, until someone else is appreciating it. Over the years, I’ve met people from around the world and they cherish being here. They are driven, work hard, don’t complain and enjoy the opportunities that come with being a part of this city’s greatness. They help me realize what an awesome place this is. Their passion drives me, makes me want to work harder, not complain as much and take advantage of my city. I can’t control my destiny but I can guide it. Sure can!
I ❤️ NY