Pardon My Ignorance 

It has somehow become acceptable in society to be rude & immoral. It has some sort of an intriguing effect on people.

I was brought up to be kind and respectful to others. Watching humans treat each other unjust makes me angry and confused. Listening to the pointless arguments and bigotry is disappointing.

We need to do better because things are progressively getting worse.

Peace ☮️ & Love 💟

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One sentence that best describes me:

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I Do My Dirt All By My Lonely 

Let me start by saying, I do not share my personal business with anyone. It’s nothing personal, it’s just I’ve learned from past experiences that sharing personal your personal business will get you judged, be held against you and/or make your personal business the topic of others conversation. All of these things have happened to me before and made me come to the conclusion that: I just don’t trust people!

That being said, people often have no idea what gripes I’m dealing with in my life. I am the type of person to let you unload all your mess on me and I just listen. I DO NOT repeat what I’m told so it all just accumulates inside of my chest and mind. Lately, I’ve been having a few people dump their mess on me and I’m feeling quite overwhelmed. I’m feeling like a huge pile of 💩. I listen to people’s drama and problems and talk with them about how to alleviate their issues but mine stay in the dark, under a cover in the back of my mind. Slowly, my anger and anxiety have grown and I think I’ve reached a point where I need to cut myself off from these people and handle my own issues. 

A part of me feels guilty for feeling this way.  Abandoning the people who depend on me as a listening ear and selfishly handling things for myself as they continue in their woes. I feel a sense of responsibility for other human beings and their well being. I’m not sure if that makes me a saint or a sucker.

I’ve noticed 

Some are overwhelmed by my energy 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m clearly not for everyone. And I’m okay with that.

Lost

My mind has been foggy lately. There is so much going on in the world, it makes me restless. There is so much I want to do to help better people’s lives but I feel like that is impossible but I know it is possible. I have this voice inside of me that screams every time I witness an injustice but my mouth says nothing and I continue on with my day and tell myself “mind my own business, this has nothing to do with you.” But it does have something to do with me. I realized that I care about other people deeply enough to want to look out for them. In order to make energy a little less awkward, tense and aggressive and a bit more comfortable, productive and cohesive. I want “positive vibes only” lol. I want people to feel more like one unit (the human race) and less like war opponents. 

We are all made of the same cells, we may not be created equally but we are created uniquely. And instead of using what makes us different from one another to collaborate and create change, we simply ostracize each other. Let’s  focus on how alike we are and build on that feeling of understanding. I don’t believe any man/woman has the right to take the life of another man/woman because theirs can be taken just as easily. Therefore, we are all created equal. No matter religion, ethnicity, skin color, beliefs or sexual preference. People are so afraid of being themselves for fear that they will be treated negatively. That’s not what we are here for. We were created to grow, prosper and prepare the world for the next generation. We argue over the dumbest things so how could we focus long enough to fix bigger issues?!

There is so much hate in this world and the violence is nightmarish. I fear for the next generation because things have been bad in this world while I was growing up and I’ve only seen things are getting worse.  It scares me. And still, all I do is scream in my head about things I cannot accomplish. So I thought for a while about what I would tell the human race, if given the opportunity; and I came up with,”We are the top of the food chain,if things are going to change, it’s going to be up to US to get it done. No excuses.” And changing things for the better is something I know we CAN do.

P.S. I know I’ve been away for a long time but this is like my online journal that the world can see. I’m thankful to have such an outlet where I am exposed to so many and have no idea who you are but I appreciate you, whoever you are.

So Selfish 😔

I was at the doctor the other day, getting the birth control implant and the doctor told me she was happy that I was with her in the fight against over populating the planet. Now, when I decided to get the implant, it was solely for selfish purposes but as the doctor continued to talk, I thought of myself as a crusader! She went on to say how selfish the human species is. She said,” humans think they’re the only ones that matter on this earth.” I thought she was a bit crazy but it got me to thinking, she’s absolutely right.

We destroy our planet, its wildlife and anything else we want to, just because we can. There are not enough people concerned about global warming, animal species that have or are becoming extinct and we kill each other without thinking twice about it. It began to make me feel sad but that sadness quickly turned to hope. Without hope all we are left with is apathy; an empty feeling that nothing can be done to improve our circumstances. But that is totally incorrect, there is plenty to be done to improve our environment and quality of life. All we need to do is care about each other and the species we share this planet with as well as the planet we all share.

With the short conversation the doctor and I had, I was compelled to do something to get the word out and get people to become conscious of these issues. I know some people are going to read this and they won’t think twice about what they’ve read but this post is for those who are going to read it and feel something. A feeling that will drive them to have conversations and think critically about the issues we are facing today. All I ask is, if you don’t care about yourself or your generation; care about future generations. Our children and their children; would you want them to suffer the consequences of our actions or lack there of?

The times we’re in, people are overly passionate about what celebs are doing, what new clothes, shoes and bags come out or how to gain a following but nobody really talks about or addresses issues that really matter and are effecting our lives. Take a second to look outside of yourself or your world and look at us as family. I know it sounds corny but it’s all I’ve got right now to help you understand what I mean.

This post is to help start a conversation, which I’m hoping will lead to action, which will then lead to a movement. It’s up to us to do something about these issues and find some type of solution. If not for us, for future generations.

Know Your Status?!

Every time I get tested, I say a prayer. I know I’m not the only one. Don’t judge me.

Think About It

If you ever wonder how a person acts behind your back, pay attention to how they act behind everyone else’s back.

Human Nature

I believe, it’s unnatural to be monogamous. Think about it, the energy you feel when you are attracted to someone is almost like an animal attraction. There doesn’t have to be any words exchanged, that energy alone is enough to know that person is into you. And this can happen anytime, anywhere with anyone. It’s unpredictable.

When the strength of that energy starts to diminish with one person, we begin to become interested in other things. Newer, interesting, more attractive things (and when I say things, I mean people lol) and we begin the cycle with someone new. The possibility of this happening is also unpredictable.

When two people share that initial energy (the animal attraction,) and one of those people begins to have that attraction with someone besides their partner, their partner starts to feel the shift in energy and starts to question what is going on. Think about it, when you are in a relationship and you are being cheated on, you almost know it. It’s hard to explain but there is a feeling you get (instinct, if you will) that tells you to question the relationship. Which leads to you looking trough your partners phone, popping up at their job, placing GPS devices in their car and/or phone, etc.

Another reason I don’t think monogamy is natural is because (in my experiences) even when a person proven to be cheating on their partner, the person who is cheated on is willing to forgive the cheater and continue with the relationship. What is the point of setting an expectation for relationships, that everyone is supposed to abide by, but when a person does not meet that expectation, they are still given the privileges of someone that does. It’s like stating a rule and telling people not to break it but when people do break it, there’s not many consequences for it. And I am not here to victim shame, the cheater dosen’t stay guilty for long either! What’s the saying? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Like it’s thier way of being and you either accept it or don’t.

I know a lot of people in relationships, I don’t know many of them to be faithful. And for those who seem to be faithful, I would like to believe they are.If cheating is so wrong, why are people willing to forgive it so easily?

So when I say it’s human nature to be attracted to people other than our partners, I’m talking about the energy and instincts we experience so naturally through this process. Just on some Brilliant Idiot 💩 ✌🏽️

Nobody Likes To See You Happy

When you’re single, nobody wants to mess with you 🙍🏽 When you’re in a relationship, you have to fight them off with a stick! 🙅🏽

You Are Not Alone (Micheal Jackson voice)

I have this defense mechanism that I’ve used for as long as I can remember. I will have the desire to become close to someone, develop a relationship of some sort. Then my trust issues sink in and I start to doubt their sincerity. I know all is genuine on my end but the doubt I feel from their end is what makes me call it quits.

Sometimes I think I don’t need anymore people in my life. And sometimes I feel like I’m cheating myself out of an experience of meeting new people and experiencing new things. But I look at it as; I’d rather protect myself from the start, than feel like a sucker down the line.

You Can’t Help Who U Love

I had lunch with a friend today and she brought up Gay Marriage being legalized in the U.S. She talked about being against the decision (which I took as misunderstanding on her part,) and she stated that this was a sign the world was going to end. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure just how serious she was… but to say things like that, kidding or not; IS NOT COOL. You can not relate to something, you know nothing about. You can’t offer your input on anything without experiencing it yourself. If you are heterosexual, does that mean you should be treated differently than homosexuals, bisexuals or transgender individuals?!?!? If you answered yes to this question, you’re wrong. That a form of segregation, which we did away with long ago! We are all human and should all be treated equally. If you have any questions or concerns about the LGBTQ community, I suggest you become educated because there can be no progress with ignorance. We all deserve the right to be miserable in holy matrimony. And if you don’t like it, Oh Well!